My thoughts, for you to judge.

I'm sure most of you already know me. This is my writing tumblr. I'm going to write. That is all.
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Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve written on here. It’s 1:25 AM and I have to be up in 6 hours for work. I think I’m going to start writing again. I’ll keep updating this daily.

Life sucks sometimes. November 11th my great grandma died. December 5th my dad learned he was losing his job. December 7th we found out my grandpa has cancer. Why does this all happen at once? Life is unfair sometimes. I stayed in bed and just broke down last week. It all hit me at once.

But then, there are people in your life that remind you, everything is okay. There is a girl. My friends. My parents, even through tough times, can help me through things. It’s in trying times when you find out who really cares. Who honestly thinks of you as a friend, or just someone you hangout with. I’m proud to say I have a few best-friends. Some live close, some live far away like Chicago.

And for that, I thank them. For helping me through shit, even if they don’t know they are. Even if I don’t tell them something is wrong and I just need to talk to someone, thank you.

hahaha. and then when I say something about it you say “sorry im frustrated and have a bunch of shit to do. sorry if i dont respond properly. i have to go. call me later.” uhhh. oh. ok. what?

lol, I’m so fucking done telling you sweet things. and texting you cute fucking things. you don’t ever appreciate them. for fucks sake dude. I text you randomly “miss you. xoxo” and you text back within seconds “yeah.” like, are you fucking kidding me. I’d honestly rather you not send anything back to me. “yeah” is like a slap in the face. 

Someone asked me today, “So how are you feeling today?”

It took everything in me not to just spill everything about everything.

I need to calm myself down. I let myself think these bad things. So stupid.

That awkward moment when guys aren’t supposed to cry. Yet I’ve cried more in the past week than I have in the last 10 years because my headaches have been so fucking bad lately.